Heart of Stone
by jimlover54
Summary: [AU] Two loves, one day, and one secret finally unlocked can change your life, but for better or for worse? [OC] Chap. 21 up. ON HOLD
1. Prologue

I thought the fic needed a little prologue/summary thing. This explains everything that happens before the first chapter. Hopefully, no one will be confused anymore. And I purposely didn't say any other character's names. The rest of the chapters will be told in first person from the pov of the main character, except for maybe the epilogue. No more author notes, I think. And the italics throughout the fic are just some poem lines meant to be translated as what the main character is thinking. And just to clarify, everything that happens in the fic occurs over a period of one day. Please tell me what you think. Much love!

Disclaimer: I own nothing related to Jimmy Neutron.

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_**Heart of Stone**_

_**Prologue**_

Our main character, Rose, has had a horrible life. She has never had any true friends and her family mistreats her and beats her severely. When she was about thirteen her family decides to move to Retroville, Texas. She has nothing to leave behind and embraces the movement as a way to create a new start, but little does she know of the upcoming events in her life that will soon take her over the edge...

Not long after she arrives and finishes moving in, a nice family introduces themselves to her family and the young boy befriends her. He treats her kindly and is very gentle. And for the first time, she is actually treated as a person and begins to feel better about herself. No one has ever cared for her and this boy quickly fills the yearning in her heart. Well, not much time passes and she soon falls in deeply love with this boy. But she is scared to death of rejection and before long discovers the boy is in love with another girl. And with her screwed up life and crazy complicated emotions she cannot handle it and begins to cut herself and try to commit suicide to end her cruel life...

One rainy night, another boy, a friend of the boy she loves, comes across her bleeding to death in the park. He rushes her to his house and using an invention of his friends, heals her just in time. When she recuperates, she makes him swear that he will not tell anyone what she has done. He agrees to keep her secret, but she has to allow him to help her from harming herself again. So she accepts and finds herself spending a lot of time with this new boy. In no time at all, they form a bond, but she is still madly in love with the first boy. And as they spend time together the boy discovers an interest in her and after a year or so of a strong friendship, falls in love with Rose. She simply has a brotherly love for him, but the more time spent with her the more her new found friend falls secretly in love with her...

Over the next few years, her feelings for her first love never dwindle, and she is still having trouble coping with the heartache. At the age of fifteen, she is found almost bleeding to death again in the girl's bathroom, despite her friends overprotectiveness. Quickly, the news spreads that she is a cutter throughout the school and her life only continues to grow worse. Teachers question her, but when examined cannot find a single scar. The students know the truth about the invention the boy uses, but the staff has yet to hear a word. And her life goes ever further down hill when the girl her love is in love with accuses her of trying to steal him from her and the girl, who is the most popular girl in school, soon brings everyone to hate her even more. But the boy assures his lover that Rose was not trying to steal him and that they are merely friends. The girl slowly accepts the fact while Rose's heart shatters even more. So, her friend comforts her and mends her heart as he continues to hide his love for her...

Can Rose ever confess her love? Will it be her downfall if she ever does, the final blow to her fragile psyche? Can a hidden love save her? One day can change your entire future. But for the good, or the bad? Only destiny knows...


	2. Delirious

_**Heart of Stone**_

_**Delirious**_

I dread school. I hate waking in the morning knowing that I have to go to school. But it's not that I dislike the educational system, it's the teenagers that attend it. I hate getting ready for school knowing that no matter what I do I will never get what I want, never be seen as pretty and popular. But it's not the popularity I crave, it's the attention. Truthfully, the attention of a particular someone.

I would tell you all about him, but it may take me days just to describe how beautiful he is, how dearly I think of him. But I know what you're thinking, I'm just another lovestruck hormonal teen. And I may be lovestruck and I may be hormonal, but I have yet to feel a stronger emotion toward anyone or anything in my entire life. Yes, sixteen is not exactly a long lifetime, but love comes at all ages.

_I adore you and_

_I need you every night_

_I don't know how much longer_

_I can take without your love_

And so, I wake every morning thinking of him, after a night of pleasant dreams. I take a shower and afterwards I dry and brush my hair. Then I dress, slipping on undergarments as well as comfortable jeans, and a deep red shirt and a grey hooded sweatshirt overtop. I'm not what you would call stylish, I just like to wear what is comfy. I don't bother putting too much makeup on, just some eyeshadow to match my eyes and some shiny lip gloss. Most girls my age take hours to do their hair, but mine usually cooperates, so I just put it up in a bouncy ponytail.

_I wanna be loved _

_for who I am_

_I don't wanna be told _

_how to live_

When I'm done, I stare into the bathroom mirror. For a moment, I see a lovely young woman gazing back at me, her hazel eyes gleaming brightly, and dirty blond bangs sweeping across her forehead. Her face is oval and her cheeks are round. She had a little nose above full lips and white straight teeth. And when I blink, she disappears, replaced by an ugly monster...

* * *

**mysteryjcgrl**


	3. Unwanted

_**Heart of Stone**_

_**Unwanted**_

I hate mirrors. I fear the dimension on the other side. I want so badly to crash my fist into the reflective glass and destroy the creature staring at me. Its dim dark-green eyes haunt me, its deadly pale complexion littered by scattered red dots sickens me. Its tiny flat nose and dilute lips are a horrid sight. I feel guilty when anyone is forced to look upon the monster.

Yet I dream at night of my knight in shining armor slaying the monstrosity and whisking me off my feet. But I know that is merely a fantasy. And I awaken from my illusion to face the world and slip from the bathroom. I put on my brown sneakers and grab my backpack before I slip out the door, not bothering to greet any family members. I don't care much about them anyway and they wouldn't notice if I fell off the face of the earth, so it doesn't matter, and neither do I.

_Tears fall from my eyes_

_But do you ever notice_

The sun is shining so nicely and the weather is perfect. I hate it. On the inside, I am fighting a constant bloody battle and when I step outside, I can feel nothing. Actually, I feel as though I am nothing. Simply a speck, an insignificant being.

I think about my life and how worthless I am as I shuffle down my stone walkway to the sidewalk. When I meet the road, I lift my gaze at the sound of a girly giggle. There, walking just on the other side of the street, is a sight that almost brings me to my knees...

_Hells breaking free, honey_

_Get down on your knees_

* * *

**mysteryjcgrl**


	4. Forgotten

_**Heart of Stone**_

_**Forgotten**_

She is beautiful. Long bright blond hair cascades over her slender shoulders. Incredible emerald eyes seem to sparkle in the sunlight. Her face is that of nothing but beauty, with soft smooth skin and a luminous smile. She has the body that every male dreams of. Her beauty is intoxicating, and he is under her spell.

_Do you know what I am feeling_

_When you're close_

_Every time you smile_

_My heart melts away_

My heart has already broken into a million pieces and as I watch the blissful pair, the tiny remnants of my soul begin to dissolve. Just seeing him makes me tremble, but with her in the picture, I freeze as pain wraps my stomach around its finger. His exquisite lips move and more giggles escape her. I pray to god that I don't collapse when his cheeks glow in a gentle pink. I hate this. I hate this feeling. I hate knowing that I never cross his mind, but why would I? I have nothing to give, except my shattered heart. But she has so much more, the looks, the brains, the attitude. She is everything he wants. And I am nothing.

_I long for lust_

_but I live for love_

She gives him an eye-catching smile and he reddens even more. I don't know how I do it, but I contain myself from darting across the road and covering him in kisses. Maybe it's the anguish in my chest. And so as I stand on my side of the street, they continue on their way to school, not giving me a passing glance. Yet my eyes linger on them until soon they are out of sight and the churning in my gut subsides, but the feeling of nothing continues to suffocate me.

_the pain is blinding_

_I can not feel u beside me_

Suddenly, a voice reaches me, calling my name...

* * *

**mysteryjcgrl**


	5. Stagnant

**_Heart of Stone_**

_**Stagnant**_

The voice is soft and familiar. It calms my quickened pulse almost immediately and I slowly exhale a shaky breath. I know exactly who it is. It's my best friend since sixth grade and my ultimate support. I don't know how I could live without them. Honestly, I wouldn't have survived middle school, much less my first two years of high school if I didn't have them. I can not stress how much I need them. They saw me when no one else did, they were there when I needed them, but all good friends are like that.

_What would I do_

_If you went away_

What makes them different you ask? They picked me up when I fell, they mended my heart when it was crushed, but most importantly, they saved my life. My life of nothing, for no other reason then because they truly cared.

_Where would I be_

_Without your careful touch_

Many memories flash before my unfocused eyes, reminding me of what little I have. I am ungrateful and I hate it. But I am jolted from my empty reality when I feel a presence beside me. A warm hand caresses my shoulder and I shift my head to the left to look into the eyes of my existence. They are a deep dark grey and small, captured behind a thin shield of glass. But they flicker with care and kindness, as well as another emotion that has eluded me for years.

_You're so close_

_Yet so far_

"Rose," my gentle savior says, my name rolling carefully off their tongue. Within seconds my heart is restored and my shields fall, exposing the tormented demon I am. But I don't care, they know exactly what I am and they still never leave...

* * *

**mysteryjcgrl**


	6. Assailable

**_Heart of Stone_**

_**Assailable**_

Slowly, my brumous world becomes clear and I gaze upon the face of one of the few who has ever noticed me. Their caring smile is the first feature I note and the first thing I recall of when I think of them. Yet, I never realized how a simple smile could brighten my day, or more like my nightmare. But it can and it does as I begin to relax, each and every muscle in my body unclenching. And so I continue to scan the compassionate face, it matching perfectly to my mental picture of my rescuer. The curly reddish orange locks, pallid smooth skin, numerous freckles adorning their pudgy cheeks, and rather a large round nose. It's the face of a friend, truly my closest and dearest confidant.

"Are you okay?" they ask, their profound voice masked in concern. It's an everyday question and I know of their distress for me, but I don't deserve it. I give them the same response each time they ask the common enquiry.

_You talk to me_

_But I don't know what you're saying_

"Yes. I'm fine, Carl," I murmur, my bitter voice echoing in my ears as I advert my gaze downward onto my shoes. His docile hand finally falls from my shoulder and now cups my chin, raising my gaze to meet his. The loving look in his eyes and tender touch send a feeling through me that I rarely experience. His grey eyes search my thoughts as he peers into the doorway to my soul.

_I can not translate _

_The words of the heart_

"You're lying. What happened?" he inquires. Damn, how does he do it? I can never keep anything from him, I have never been able too since the moment I met him years ago. Even back then when he was a plump nerd, he could see right through me. And now as a tall matured young man, he can still read my mind like I am a book. So I give in and spill it all out.

_Your eyes hold all of me_

_May I gaze into you_

"Him," I whisper delicately, and that is all I need to say for my endearing friend to know exactly why my anguish has overcomed me...

* * *

**mysteryjcgrl**


	7. Inconspicuous

_**Heart of Stone**_

_**Inconspicuous**_

He smiles grimly and lets his hand descend from my jaw. But he holds his powerful gaze on me. He knows whom I am speaking of, he always does. And I can feel the compassion he has for me, the concern that my newly mended heart will be torn open again. The worried expression on his face is blinding and I can't take it anymore. I jerk my face to the side, my long bangs hiding my hideous face from view. Tears prick in the corners of my eyes as memories of my love bustle through my psyche. The pain is tremendous and I clamp my eyes shut in and attempt to stop the rain falling from my eyes.

_Happiness has a price_

_And my heart can't afford it_

And through the steady throbbing in my head, I hear him sigh deeply, 'You can't have him, Rose,' is what I want him to say, it's what I want to hear because I know it's true. We both know it's true.

"C'm on, Rose. Stop beating yourself up," he utters as I listen to him scuffle up beside me and link his arm in mine, then proceeds to drag me with him toward school. Ha, he doesn't know the half of it. He may have stopped me from ripping myself apart on the outside, but he can't restrain the interior pain I impose on myself. Well, at least most of the time.

_Tell me now_

_Release my soul _

"I'm sure he likes you," he informs, his voice noticeably filled with false confidence. But I have heard those same words from him many times and I can't stop a salty tear from streaming down my face. Luckily, I am not looking at him and he doesn't see it, but it still burns, all of my tears burn. I am not worthy enough to cry, so I am punished. Inflicted with pain because of everything I have never done and everything I have said. And my undercover angel turns his head to me just in time to catch another tear sneak from my eye and leave a glistening trail down my cheek.

"Please stop crying," he says so sweetly, like he is speaking to a child. But I can't handle it. It feels as though his polite and gentle words are commands in disguise. And although I know he would never order me to do a thing, inside the depression is overflowing and the anger is beginning to boil. I hate being told what to do. I hate being out of control, but when my anger takes over, that is just what I am, completely out of control and somewhat out of my mind.

_Actions are louder than words_

_Is that why my ears are bleeding_

Yes, I am out of my mind. Who gets angry at themselves for being pitiful and dejected? I do for some reason and my despised emotions begin to mix, creating an ugly combination. But it's nothing he hasn't seen. The monster I am will cry and scream at the same time until I am exhausted. And my dear friend will take it all, sometimes with a tiny grin pulling at the corners of his mouth. Yet, the strange thing is that he is the only one who can pull my emotions from me, like he knows the special button to press. I am always silent, hidden in the back and overlooked, but when he is near, I burst from my cage and attack the world...

* * *

**mysteryjcgrl**


	8. Pestilent

_**Heart of Stone**_

_**Pestilent**_

I hate yelling. The shrill and horrid tone of ones voice when shouting makes me sick. I don't understand why people must strain their lungs and burn their throats. It's a waste of energy. But at times I find myself doing exactly what I hate.

The pressure has built until it hits a bursting point. I rip myself from his grasp and allow words to flow from my mouth, "No! Carl, you're wrong! He doesn't like me! I'm just that girl, that messed up kid he feels pity for! He will never feel the same way that I feel about him! And you know it! You know it, don't you?" I whisper the last sentence hoarsely as I prod him in the chest. Why do we try to harm those who care for us? Who knows, but my stomach acid bubbles in my throat, and I glare at his smiling face. That stupid heart-warming grin. My muscles are tense and ready for whatever comes next. But as usual, his reaction always catches my off guard. He takes my hand, which has my index finger pressed into his chest, cautiously in his own. My heated stare doesn't falter, but my body loosens. His caring face still holds that docile smile and I begin to wonder why he thinks this is amusing.

_Open my world _

_For if only I knew_

"I said you know it, don't you?" I repeat, my voice low and throat still stinging. "And why are you smiling? It's contagious, you know," It's true, his blissfulness is an illness I have yet to catch. And with my words, his smile only broadens.

He turns and starts off for school again, pulling me along and replies, "I know no such things," He is a clever boy and I don't know how he can change my emotions so easily. He is the only one with this type of effect on me. My glare recedes and I breathe in and out as I try to clear my head, but it doesn't work, it never does. So I allow him to escort, or more like drag, me towards school. My thoughts drift and I think back to my cheerful years in school. Oh wait, I have none, school is really a torture chamber for me, yet without the deadly gas to permit me to escape the hell hole forever.

_I ask for forgiveness_

_Release the unspoken burden on this soul_

I don't really hate school, like I said before, I dread it. I dread seeing the faces of those with importance in life. I dread feeling like a ghost, unseen and unnoticed as I scramble through the busy hallways. But what I have yet to say is what I dread the most, what makes me cringe in fear. It's one word actually...

Love. The affection exchanged between those who care about each other. Some say I have a bad case of jealousy, but how can you be jealous of something you have never known and you will never have...

* * *

**mysteryjcgrl**


	9. Deceitful

_**Heart of Stone**_

_**Deceitful**_

I am extremely tired. I feel so weak and helpless. The pain in my throat and lungs are overwhelming and I can hardly breathe. But I deserve it. I shouldn't have said the things I did, I shouldn't have raised my voice or opened my mouth at all. I deserve the pain, but he doesn't. All the things he has done for me and I can't show any gratitude? Maybe it's because I don't know how.

_When I jump, hold my hand_

_You catch me every time_

It has been a minute or two and a word has not been spoken as we make our way down the hard unforgiving sidewalk toward Lindbergh High. I am lost in another realm, but a light squeeze on my hand returns me to this cruel world I'm suppose to call a home. And in the distance, not even half a block, stands the educational center I identify as a second underworld. My vision is hazy as usual, and I can only make out the blobs of a mixture of car, buses, and students moving about the campus. My shoulders slump in exhaustion.

I glance over at my joyful friend only to find that jubilant smile still plastered to his face. It scares me sometimes how much he smiles, someone could mistake him as a masculine cheerleader. Ha, yeah right. What was I thinking? Even in a skirt he is ten times better looking than those sluts who call themselves athletes and as a bonus, he actually has a brain. I laugh on the inside for a single moment as I picture him in a skirt. The image is really disturbing, so I close my eyes and shake my head, trying to get rid of the nasty thought. And, of course, he catches me shaking my head and raises an inquiring eyebrow at me, that stupid grin not fading. I swear his face is toxic. I can't stop that tingling feeling in the tips of my fingers when he looks at me. His expression is so genuine and although I see it many times a day, I can never get use to the fact that someone wants to look at me.

_Deep within the confusion_

_Look without sight _

But I just look away, trying my best to ignore him and my sweaty palm pressed against his own. Out of the corner of my eye, I see him shrug his broad shoulders, but my eyes are really glued on the brick structure before us. I really want time to halt so I never have to go in there again, but I know that will at no time ever happen and my companion would never let me skip, I would not hear the last of it.

So he leads me across the street, dodging vehicles of all shapes and sizes, my eyes never leaving the giant building. I want to stop, rip myself from his grasp and run away, but I am too weak, too powerless to say or do what is on my mind, and it's not like anything I say or do matters.

_My salvation is powerless _

_What keeps me breathing_

Thus, we cross the front lawn of the school and ascend up a flight of stairs, but stop once we reach the top. Ugly metal double doors stare at me and I can feel my knees going weak, ready to buckle if I try to make any movement. What lies on the other side frightens the crap out of me and he knows it. We go through the same ordeal almost every school day, but he always finds a way for me to allow the metal beasts to engulf me and digest what very little, and I mean very little self confidence I have before spitting me back out...

* * *

**mysteryjcgrl**


	10. Wretched

_**Heart of Stone**_

_**Wretched**_

I really don't want to go in that haunted building. He turns to look at me and although I can't see his perplexing grey eyes and gleeful grin, I can feel them. "Let's go, Rose. Another day here isn't going to kill you," so he says. He doesn't have to go through what I do every day, living with these emotions for someone who hardly knows you exist and acting as though your heart isn't being stomped on each time they smile.

_Black on white_

_Spill from a heart_

"I'm not dead yet," I mutter sourly under my breath and I hear him laugh softly. How is it I humor him? He laughs about most things about me that make others run for cover. Either he likes me or I am really pathetic. Wait a minute, him like me? Wow, I really am pathetic and delusional. It's not like he would ever think of me that way or I would ever think of him that way. He's like my brother, my over protective, overly carefree brother.

_Life is too short to live_

_Don't live for yesterday_

He finally releases my hand, "That's the spirit!" he exclaims so cheerily it makes me wanna slap him, "Class starts any minute. I can't let you be late, can I?" he asks rhetorically, of course, and latches onto my upper arm like I'm a fugitive trying to get away. Heck, I am. The usual butterflies in my gut that were taking a break are now going top speed. And behind me I can hear the shuffling of a group of students approaching us.

_Agony traps me_

_You can't set me free_

"Actually, you could," I whimper and he laughs again, harder this time. No, really he could. I wouldn't mind. If it weren't for him, I wouldn't be here in here first place. I could go back under my rock so the world doesn't have to be scarred for life when it gets a look at me. And you know how some people tell you that someday you will benefit mankind? Yeah, mankind would be better off if I disappeared, but this stupid angel on my arm won't let me go.

_I don't belong here_

_So let me go_

"You're so funny!" he blurts out loudly, like a little girl. Man, where did I find this kid? But before I can mull the question over, he thrusts the doors open. The second the florescent lights hit me, my eyes start to water and my heart beats loudly in my ears...

* * *

**mysteryjcgrl**


	11. Captive

Just wanna thank everyone who reviewed. I know this fic kinda sucks, but for those who want the original JN characters and more romance, don't worry it's coming. This fic is gonna be long! And the ending is my fave! Also, I will try to update sooner. And just to clarify any mix ups, this fic occurs only over a period of one day. I know, wierd. Thanks again.

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_**Heart of Stone**_

_**Captive**_

My body goes numb as he pulls me through the doors. The hallways are bustling with people. Clusters of teens litter the locker-covered walls. Those vile, happy creatures. A pack of senior girls glare at me as we pass them, the dominant busty blonde baring her teeth in a shrewd smile. Their eyes bore into me and I try to return a fierce stare, but they brush it off and snicker when he jerks my arm, pulling me closer like I'm a dog.

_Take me from this life_

_Existence is an illusion_

I really hate this place. It's probably worse than prison. No, I think I would like jail better. At least there you are kept isolated from other people who want to rip you to shreds. But here they have to purposely place the monster within a sea of hunters where the beast is not only injured physically but mentally. Having your feelings ripped out is worse than any physical harm. Trust me, I know.

_My deal with the devil holds my soul_

_Save me from this light_

We continue down the hall, those passing by and many others giving me a range of strange looks, varying from hatred to pity. I don't know how much longer I can take this. I don't even know how I was able to put up with it for so long. Suddenly, we make a quick left and my arm is almost pulled out of the socket. Oh yeah, him. He is well aware of the looks I am given and tries his best to ward them off with a nasty glare, but with that little grin never vanishing, his face won't allow him and most of the time the haters will just laugh at his desperate attempt. And that really irks me. He is the nicest and thoughtful, but not exactly highly-developed in the brains department, boy in the entire school and does not deserve to be treated horribly, and he definitely doesn't deserve the extra weight he is currently dragging.

_I cannot believe the lies you told me_

_I cannot see the fire in your eyes_

Finally, we reach my locker and he drops my arm to twist the little black knob in order to open the metal cage. And although I turn myself so I can stare at the disgusting green color of my locker, I can feel their heated gazes on me. My anger is boiling again, spilling over and incinerating the butterflies in my stomach. My control is slowly starting to fade. And you don't know how badly I want to turn around and sink my fist into the face of one of them, so I settle for the defenseless metal in front of me.

_Blade or redemption_

_Bury this soul_

Yes, it hurts, actually it hurts a lot, but it feels so good to release some of the inner turmoil. Skin clings to the small sharp air vents on the dented locker and soon a familiar red liquid coats my knuckle and leaks down between my fingers. I stare at it in fascination. It has been a while since I have seen the crimson liquid and as I stare at it, images of my arms being covered in this dark red fluid flash before my eyes...

* * *

**mysteryjcgrl**


	12. Venomous

_**Heart of Stone**_

_**Venomous**_

The sudden clang of flesh meeting metal echoes around me. He must have just heard it too because I hear him shuffle as though startled, and drop a few books onto the tile floor. I shift my head to see his expression and just as I thought, he is staring at my fist with a look of complete bewilderment. But his confusion quickly molds into concern and fear with a hint of anger.

"Darn you, Rose!" he yells a bit too loud, drawing even more attention toward us. Then he grabs my wrist and pulls my bloody hand closer to him. I seriously think he enjoys jerking me around. He looks at it for a moment before shaking his head in disappointment. Yes, disappointment because he knows that I know better. And I have to say it stings witnessing his smile slowly fall into a frown.

_How do you turn me inside out_

_I never know_

"Why did you do this to yourself?" he asks, but I know he doesn't want my answer. "You were doing so well." Yeah, I was, but old habits die hard and I think my cursed heart was longing to feel pain, to feel the warm dark liquid stream from my veins. He still holds securely onto my wrist as he reaches into the top self of the locker and pulls out a small device. He calls it the Healer, but to me it just covers my scars not heals them. And no matter what the tiny contraption does to me, I can still see the haunting dead tissue.

_We are born without glory_

_We do not live to serve_

It looks like a little black box you put an engagement ring in with a single tiny white button on it. He holds it above my knuckle and in no time it starts to vibrate and hum with power. I'm not sure how it works exactly, but I guess whenever it detects blood, it automatically turns on, and let me tell you only after a minute or so there is plenty of warm fluid to detect. Suddenly, a wide blue laser pops from the bottom of the gizmo and with one quick swipe, my hand looks as though it had never fought in a losing battle with sharp metal. The white button glows a funky neon green before it completely turns off and retracts its blazing blue laser. My entire hand tingles but the strange feeling fades as it travels up my arm and soon disappears completely.

_My star of eternity_

_Flow from this crimson light_

I stare at my unscathed skin as he quickly stows the little device away. He detaches himself from my wrist and scoops up the fallen books then hastily stuffs them in the bag hanging off his shoulder. And out of nowhere, the warning bell rings, jolting me out of my senses and making me jump in surprise, not to mention causing me to turn my head and catch the repulsive gazes of observers. I don't make eye contact, but just knowing that they are watching, hovering like vultures makes the hair on the back of my neck stand straight up. He doesn't notice the eyes or doesn't care and greedily seizes the sleeve of my sweatshirt and yanks me in through a doorway just across the hall. I think he likes lugging me around like I'm a retarded child. Am I really that worthless? Why am I even asking? I already know the answer...

* * *

**mysteryjcgrl**


	13. Unsympathetic

_**Heart of Stone**_

_**Unsympathetic**_

The room is bright and cheery. Large windows line the one entire side of the classroom, allowing light to flow brilliantly into the room and provide an artistic view of the neighborhood. Pretty pictures and inspiring quotes hang from almost every inch of the walls. I hate it. It reflects success and happiness, two things I will never experience.

_Unlike the stars in the sky_

_Unlike the waves of the ocean_

On my left as we enter is a large black board. Perfectly straight rows of desks face the dark panel and in the corner, resides a rectangular teacher's desk. Occupying that said desk is a plump short woman with curly strawberry blond hair and coffee brown eyes. She is in her forties, I assume, and is nice, that is to everyone but me of course. The way she looks at me reminds me of a hungry interrogator ready to pounce on the first unsteady word that leaks from me. She is another reminder of why I dislike adults so much. They feel they are in total control, like they have the right to wound me whenever they feel like. They don't understand anything I go through and they never will.

_You will never change, never be enough_

_You can't see the light_

The bulk of the seats are filled and a few chat between themselves, until I am spotted shuffling behind my escort, then noise ceases to exist. This occurs every time I enter a room. All heads turn toward me.

_Have you seen my heart?_

Most of the time I am alone and quiet, therefore I go unnoticed. But if I am not being ignored, I'm being laughed at or worse, stared at like I am the strangest thing they have ever seen. I don't blame them though, I am a distasteful sight. But what I hate a lot is the eerie silence when I walk in a room. Big or small, as soon as I take one step through the door, everything and everyone stops. No one speaks and I can't hear a thing. Either time freezes or I go deaf. Maybe I block out all sound. I don't want to hear what any of them have to say, so I guess I set the silence on myself.

_My heart has been torn out_

_Oh how I scream, don't you hear me?_

No one knows how much I detest the anxious looks and mischievous twinkles in their eyes, like they have the key to life and are purposely letting me suffer through life searching. I know every single one of them and they know me. So why are they doing this to me? Because they think they really know me, but they know nothing...

* * *

**mysteryjcgrl**


	14. Ominous

_**Heart of Stone**_

**_Ominous_**

My normal shields go up and I keep my eyes on the murky tan floor as he departs to his desk in the front corner and I scurry to mine, the one exactly in the center of the room. I toss my pack off my shoulders, onto my desk and plop down. Whispers and the rest of the world's noise slowly rise into the air around me. The final bell then rings out and the last of the students rush into their seats.

_The bell sounds the end_

_Run for cover_

I daringly raise my gaze and catch the woman at her tidy desk peering over at me, watching me. My body shudders under her cold glare and I slump further down in my seat. Never taking her gaze off me, which is really creepy, she grabs a dark blue notebook, stands and glides to the front center of the room, her peach sun dress flowing around her ankles. She plucks a pen out from behind her ear and flips open the thin notebook. Finally, her gaze splits from me and scans the room. She then begins to call out names, checking to see who decided to come to this dump, her lively little voice scratching at my eardrums. When she spits out my name, I gather enough energy to raise my hand, her eyes narrowing at me then moving onto the next being.

_Turn away my tears_

_The footsteps of the past_ _can not be erased_

Soon she is finished and turns on the tv in the upper right corner of the room before sitting back down at her desk. I know she is peeking at me again, but I don't care right now. Two students pop onto the screen and begin rambling on about school activities and such. And with the majority of the eyes on the screen, I relax a bit and let my mind wander, not caring at all about what is on the announcements right now either. My eyes drift to the curly redhead in the front, staring intently at the television. My gaze lingers on him for a moment before shifting to the window.

_Tortured dreamer_

_You can't see me_

What would it be like to be that carefree? To not really have to care about anything most of the time? The only thing I think he worries about sometimes is me, which is ridiculous. So I have a problem with my emotions and an ethical bad way to release my pain. I'm unfortunately alive right now, aren't I? I just need a shoulder to lean on, that's all. And he is the only shoulder I have.

_Say the words that you could never feel_

_Say the words that you know I don't hear_

The world outside looks so free. But nothing is truly free. Beyond this fortress dwells a reality of corruption and lies. In a certain perspective, high school is actually the same as life after the educational years. We are all prisoners...

* * *

**mysteryjcgrl**


	15. Dispensable

_**Heart of Stone**_

_**Dispensable**_

I look up at the sparkling sky and I am reminded of the soul I crave, his beautiful eyes haunt me. As I am lost in my daydream, I miss the dismissal bell and when I return to myself, I find a pestering hand on my shoulder and its twin in front of my face. One is shaking me as the other one is flying up and down in the air not an inch from my nose.

"Hello..." my protector calls, "Anybody in there?" That amused smile, of course, restored on his face. I think bringing me back to reality is a hobby for him, but it's just plain annoying to me. In one quick moment, I wack his hand out of my face.

_Facing reality is not one of my strengths_

_But with you it seems I can pull through_

I would much rather stay in my other dimension and escape this torturous world. But this boy won't let me. And despite my act of violence, he grabs my pack in one hand and my wrist in the other, then proceeds to rip me from my seat and for the umteenth time today, drag me toward the door. The room is empty except for the dismaying old woman and I know she is watching.

"Ouch," I squeal when he accidently twists my sensitive wrist, "I can escort myself to class, Carl," I snap crudely at him and snatch my bag from his hand with my free hand. I stare at his docile face and stupid grin as I wait for him to let me go. And still smiling, he drops my wrist and bows, gesturing to the door.

"After you, my lady," he says, a certain twinkle in his eye. Ugh, this kid really plucks my nerves sometimes. But he is sweet and the only one I have, so I guess I can put up with his overly joyful personality, at least until my yearning heart explodes.

_You're my sin, my resurrection_

_My thirst in the night_

I slip my pack carelessly over my shoulder and manage to walk to the doorway, unaided. Big surprise. And instead of walking out the door like a normal human, which I am far from may I remind you, my shoulders slump and I slide out, wiggling through the crowd like a snake. I keep my eyes hidden beneath my thick blonde bangs and only raise my gaze when necessary, not wanting to take a chance and catch a certain pair of breathtaking eyes or I might not make it to class, much less anywhere if I'm not breathing. Yet, I don't know how I remember where I am going. I guess my jumbled memory takes over.

And soon enough, but too soon for me, I somehow find my first period AP Calculus class. It's funny really. I hate math, don't do homework, never study and in some beyond bizarre way, I get perfect scores on tests when most of the time I don't even remember taking them in the first place. My Calculus teacher has titled me as an undercover genius. Yeah right, if I'm such a genius than why am I still here? Math is stupid and boring, but I guess it's an easy output for my one heck of a messed up mind.

When I reach a doorway, I look up to make sure I'm at the right room. And I guess I'm correct because there he is, leaning up against the lockers on the left side of the doorway, that playful grin and all. I exhale and let my body slump even more, then cross my arms and walk up to him.

_Stop smiling_

_My heart can't take it anymore_

As his eyes meet mine, I cock an eyebrow and speak sharply, "What? Didn't think I would make it on my own?" I mean seriously, am I that unpredictable? He shakes his head, curly red hair bouncing, and laughs softly.

_Stop laughing_

_My lungs are too constricted_

He shoves his hands into his jean pockets just before he turns to leave and says over his shoulder, "Just making sure," He says it so soft and fluttery. Ah, I hate that. I glare at his retreating figure for a moment until I am unexpectantly shoved almost off my feet. At the last second, I brace my palms against the cold lockers, a stinging pain shooting up my arms. I slowly peer over my shoulder to find a clique of girls muffling their laughter as they enter the room. After catching a glimpse of them, I snap my head forward so I am staring at the metal storage chambers of which I am using as support at the moment. Hot tears of pain and embarrassment prick in the corners of my eyes. Yep, that's me, the cry baby. But my battered pride forces my tears back and I straighten myself.

...A hand lands on my shoulder...

"You alright, Rose?" they utter and my lungs constrict...

_Stop talking_

_I can't breathe_

* * *

**mysteryjcgrl**


	16. Evanescent

**_Heart of Stone_**

_**Evanescent**_

Their touch is burning the skin beneath my sweatshirt, but I can't feel a thing. I hate this complete control they have over me. I would do anything just for them, and they don't even know it. They control all of my heart, and the power a single heart of love can hold is unbelievable. But a mere tap can topple the unstable heart and shatter everything. Love can destroy you, like it has me.

_Can't you hear me_

_Can't you see me_

I inhale a shaky breath and command my body to cease trembling. Still shaking somewhat, I wipe my face with the back of my hand to make sure no tears have escaped. My head is throbbing, but I slowly spin on my heels as the hand is retracted from my shoulder. I'm not ready to see him again and I don't think I ever will be. And my assumptions are correct when my heart gives out as I meet his powerful gaze, his amazing eyes twinkling with intelligence. He is a beautiful creature and I immediately regret cursing him with my awful appearance. I quickly throw my gaze to the floor, breaking the hold he has over me.

_I know I want it_

_and I know I can't have it_

A meek mumbled, "Yeah," escapes my lips as I nod and then slip into the room. My arm brush his as I skirt past him and a burning sensation takes over the right side of my body. Ignoring the feeling as best I can, I manage to scramble to my seat in the back row. Silence pierces the room until giggles erupt around me, but I can't hear them.

_Simply a pebble on the broken shore_

_A forgotten memory_

He waltzes into the room a moment later just before the bell sounds. He waves to a few girls in the front corner of the room, flashing a brilliant smile, and I can't stop my eyes from straying upward. I watch him make his way to his seat, a desk in front of mine in the row to the left of me. His stride is full of confidence and he sheds nothing but beauty and perfection. No one can measure up to him, no one in the world is remotely like him. He is one of a kind and the perfect guy, inside and out. No girl in this world is good enough for him, so he takes the next best. And you know it's not me.

_Invisible to the naked eye_

_A ghost of distant past_

But why do I feel this way? How does he make me think like this? Is he really perfect? Or do I just want him to be? Is he the knight that I have been wishing for, the one who is gonna sweep me off my sore feet? Fly me away, somewhere no one else is capable of going? No, that only happens to pretty princesses. And I'm far from a princess, much less pretty.

_I can hear your laughter deep in the night_

_Did you know you had this effect on me?_

As I'm drowning in his perfection, I don't notice him sit down and spin around in his seat to face me. Oh, how his eyes sparkle.

"Hey," his tone so soft, my breath hitches in my chest, "The guys and I are taking the girls to the Candy Bar later. Want to come along? I'm sure Carl would want you to come," his lips move so sensually, my mind doesn't process a word. I'm certain I have the foolish look of awe on my face. Somehow, but I don't know why, I nod and he smiles. I think I'm gonna be blind from all these beautiful smiles. I look away...

* * *

**mysteryjcgrl**


	17. Exclusive

Sorry about all the short chapters. This chapter and the next will be the last short ones in the rest of the fic. Thanks.

* * *

_**Heart of Stone**_

_**Exclusive**_

My heart is pounding in my ears, drowning everything out. I can't hear a thing, not even the rapid whispers or the slamming of the door. But, I can still feel his eyes on me, so I glance over at him. His mouth opens to say something after he catches me looking back at him, but nothing escapes him before a booming voice breaks my thoughts.

"Neutron! Turn Around! Class has started!" A wrinkled faced man shouts from the front of the classroom. The boy quickly spins around in his seat as the old man scurries down the aisle between me and the boy he was addressing.

Once he reaches the boy's desk, he leans forward a bit and narrows his beady eyes at him. The teen leans back away from the man with a guilty smile on his face. A few little chuckles break out through the room, but they cease when the short old man straightens himself. His eyes sweep over the class, his lips pressed into a thin line, but a grin appears when his eyes land on me. He fixes the tuffs of white hair above his ears and steps over to me, his hands cupped behind his back. This is another freaky teacher. He thinks I'm smart.

_I didn't ask but you didn't care_

His little brown eyes study me a moment, before he turns and addresses the boy he scolded a minute ago. "You see Miss Rose here, James?" The man gestures his hand toward me and the teenage boy answers with a nod. "She is sitting quietly in her seat, ready for class. Unlike you, Mr. Popular," he seethes at the boy.

"But, sir, I-" the teen begins to defend himself, but the instructor raises a hand, halting the boy's words.

"No buts in my classroom," the old man snaps menacingly. He turns back toward me, a caring smile on his wrinkly face.

_My thoughts were important _

_My words just as great_

"How has your day been, Rose?" He speaks to me like I'm a little kid, not a cruel note in his rough voice. He doesn't speak to his other students this way. He singles me out like a problem child. He knows about the incidents in my life, but could he not treat me so differently? Could everyone?

_You will never know _

_How much of this is a lie_

All eyes are on me again and the pressure is building. "It's only first period," I reply and slink down in my seat as I tuck my trembling hands in the pocket of my jacket. He laughs, everyone laughs...

* * *

**mysteryjcgrl**


	18. Immoral

Last short chapter!

* * *

_**Heart of Stone**_

_**Immoral**_

The sound of their laughter echoes in my thoughts. The old man and sparkling eyed boys' laughter is soft and cheerful, whilst the other student's laughter reflects a tone of malice. Their eyes are anxious and they laugh at me not because they think what I said was amusing, but because they find me amusing. A weak child they can tease, knowing I cannot defend myself.

_Don't tease me with an empty promise_

_The tyranny of it all_ _doesn't seem right_

The laughter fades, yet I can't stop my shaking hands concealed in my sweatshirt pocket. The old instructor continues to smile down at me as he speaks. "Very well, Rose. You are right, you cannot know how your day has been if it has not begun yet," and with his cheery comment said, he returns to the front of the room.

Eyes linger on me until the older man speaks again. "Get out your homework, class. We mustn't waste any more time," he orders as he rummages through the stacks of paper on his cluttered desk. A sigh of relief escapes my lungs when everyone's attention is diverted from me.

Of course, I didn't do any homework, but I pull my math binder out from my pack on the floor beside me, place it on my desk and open it up to look like I'm doing something. I also pluck out my favorite black art pencil and in no time my mind drifts somewhere else as the man writing down problems on the front board dictates on about something I don't particularly care about. But the one thing in the room I do care about seeps into my thoughts as I gaze at the back of his head, his dark chestnut hair shining in the mellow light streaming in from the window.

_When it comes to the truth_

_I can't admit all that is wrong_

The tip of my pen finds its way onto some scrap paper in my notebook and gently stokes the soft white paper. I place my left elbow on top of my desk and rest my chin in my palm as my other hand continues to dance across the paper. I don't know what I'm drawing, for my eyes are glued on the elegant boy across from me. He has a strong lean body and at times I encounter myself dreaming of feeling it. But not all dreams come true. Actually, I can't recall any of my former wishes coming true, this dream is no different.

_The end soothes restless souls_

_Take me now_

Over his shoulder I can see him scribble things down from time to time as his right heel taps the floor, somewhat impatiently. I assume his eyes are downcast onto his work by the way his head is tilted downwards. And I can feel the dreamy expression on my face as I stare at him, my thoughts filled with images of his caring face. Other faces and memories fill my mind too, but only his and another boy's face are dominant in my mind.

_How did you know_

_How to make me feel this way_

The monotone words of the teacher reach my ears, yet I don't process them. I never really do, he usually doesn't call on me since it seems as though I am writing things down. Well, I am writing down things, but not the mathematical stuff he wants me to.

I tear my gaze from my love to see what my subconscious has created. What I see startles me, but not as much as a sudden realization...

* * *

**mysteryjcgrl**


	19. Mystifying

Is three pages of text long enough for you? May not update for a week or so.

* * *

_**Heart of Stone**_

_**Mystifying**_

The realization hits and it hit hard, but it is overcomed by what has appeared in my notebook.I can barely believe what I see.

Why did I draw that?

A small black and white portrait of a boy's face is neatly sketched on my paper. Mastered shading and gentle curves depict curly locks adoring a soft round face. His lips curl up around a brilliant smile and his freckles decorate his cheeks exactly in the same places as they would be on his real face. His signature round glasses sit atop his nose and his grey eyes seem to hold that certain sparkle. The perfect replica sketch of his face fills me with aching questions.

Why did I draw him? Is it not the boy seated across from me who seeps into my every thought, clouding my mind? Is this sketch of who is really in my heart? But how could this happen?

Many questions rush through my mind, but too quickly for me to process. A frustrated sigh escapes me and I throw my pencil down onto my notebook with a small plop. A few eyes seek the source of the noise and pinpoint on me, but I brush them off. Today has barely begun and it already sucks. But something in the back of my mind tells me today is going to change my life, you know that little feeling that out of all the misery something good has to happen. Well, I hope it happens soon.

_Hope can make it through_

My face scrunches in confusion as my eyes float down to my drawing. It's an amazing image of him. When the heck did I become an artist? And I still want to know why I drew him. I stare at it for a moment before I find my fingers tracing the curve of his cheek. I can feel my face soften as I continue to study it. But my head buzzes in activity and I seize my head in my hands as another painful ache hits me.

Why does this happen to me? What did I do to deserve this? Oh who am I kidding. I was cursed with birth, a bastard child, really. I am nothing special and never will be.

Suddenly, my ache seems to subside as images of the two most important people in my life appear behind my closed eyes. One fills my heart with longing while the other calms the rough storm within me. Both seem to glow in an unearthly luminescence, but the stouter boy beams in an unwavering glow as the taller boy falters with each aching beat of my heart. Both are my angels, yet it feels like one seems to glow completely naturally while the other glows only because I want him to. But that can't be right, can it?

_An illusion of heart is as painful as reality_

My eyes travel to my love again and remain hazily on him until the bells rings. The man at the front of the room grumbles something, but I can't hear it above the rustle of papers and moving bodies clouding my attention, plus I don't really care. Shakily, I gather my things and stuff them into my pack, carefully placing my notebook holding the sketch of a thousand questions in last. The students quickly file out and after slipping my pack over my shoulder, I make my way down the aisle, keeping my eyes off the smiling face of the old teacher and focused on the door.

Just as I blindly step out into the hallway, a gentle hand catches my upper arm. "Rose," he utters and I command my feet to stop and lift my gaze to meet his. My knees nearly give out, they seem to do that a lot, when I meet his blue eyes. He smiles and lets my arm free before he speaks again.

"So, I will see you and Carl at lunch. Tell him about you coming to the Candy Bar, okay?" he asks so sweetly and my heart melts. Only a selected few treat me this kindly, but the effect he has on me is much more crushing. And despite the twist of my stomach, I find a way to nod. He smiles again and waves as he travels down the hall away from me.

_This feeling may never fade_

A breath I didn't realize I was holding escapes quickly. I really am pathetic, drooling over a boy who will never share my feelings. A boy who will grow up to change the world while I fade away.

So, with those thoughts, I turn on my heal and head for my next class. I keep my eyes shielded below my hair and from the world as I slink down the crowded hallway. I'm not sure where the room is, so I hope I'm going the right way. A minute later, my feet halt and I look up to see the health room. I dislike this room just as much as the others. It's filled with anti drug and drinking posters, visual steps to save someone in an emergency, and detailed pictures of organs I'd rather not see. But I enter and take my seat in the row along the wall. The overly muscular woman in her teacher's desk eyes me as I settle into my seat.

More students enter, a few whispering as they pass by, but I keep my gaze in my lap and block out their irritating voices. A second later, the bell rings as the rest of my classmates noisily seat themselves. Almost immediately, they go silent as the bulky teacher heaves herself out of her computer chair. Out of all my teachers, she scares me the most. I heard that she broke a student's arm for looking at her funny, although I'm sure that is just a rumor, I think she could take down anyone with just one blow. And considering the gleam in her eyes when she looks at me, I could be her next kill.

_Tell me this isn't real_

Grumbling like an annoyed animal, she clomps over to the light switch and hits it, casting the room in a relaxing darkness. But the soothing blackness is pierced when she slips a video in and turns the tv on. An uptight man appears on the screen and starts talking about some sort of health junk I don't need. I will do whatever I want with my dullard life and there is nothing anyone can do about it.

The video goes on oblivious to me cause I decide to pull out my notebook. I open it to the mind-boggling sketch and try to figure out my conflicting thoughts. You know, those between heart and mind. I hate those, but a sudden voice interrupts.

"Hey," a feminine voice whispers, sending my heart racing.

I tense when her voice slips to my ears. I seem to do that, tense whenever someone speaks directly to me. I guess it's some sort of fight or flight mechanism. I peer out the corner of my eye at the girl in the seat beside me, meeting chocolate brown. She is pretty, with dark long braided hair, dark skin, and kind brown eyes. I turn my head a little more in her direction to meet her gaze better. Something about her calms me, yet it seems she has that effect on everyone.

_A shadow of doubt washed away with one look_

A little smile pulls at her lips. "What's that?" she asks. I blink in surprise and search her face for a reason for the communication. She has always been Cindy's right-hand girl, but lately she has been treating me differently, like she knows something that I don't.

And simply finding curious eyes and a grin, I convert my eyes to the sketch. Slowly, my hands reach up and curl around either side of the notebook. "I don't know," I mutter quietly. I'm no liar. I really don't know what it is. Is it a sign? A clue to find the key to my heart?

"Rose, you have to know," she says softly, "You had to have drawn him for a reason." So, she does know what or at least who it is. Her tone is calm and caring. And no matter how much I want to give in, my guard is strong and holds against my weakness for kind words.

"You don't know anything," I whisper harshly, fighting back the painful confusion. My eyes clench shut as I grip the notebook tighter.

"I know that he cares about you," she replies, her soft tone not faltering. I can feel her gentle gaze on me and the sympathy on her face. Yet, I don't need her pity. I have survived this long. And the whole world knows Carl cares about me. He is the only one who does, but it's nothing more than a brotherly care because he feels responsible for me... Right?

_The truth can not hide forever_

"It doesn't matter," I finally respond, too tired and my head in too much pain to think about anything anymore. I glance down painfully at the portrait before I shove it off my desk. Acting fast, she grabs the notebook before it hits the floor. I watch her as she places it on her desk and carefully closes it, not catching more than a quick glimpse of the sketch. When her gaze meets mine again, she is no longer smiling. A sad glimmer I have never seen before, twinkles in her eyes. It hurts, the sadness, but what is new.

She shakes her head and turns away. What did I do to deserve this? I find myself asking that question again. I exhale a woeful sigh and rest my head on my folded arms. I slip away from this world into an empty dream...

* * *

**mysteryjcgrl**


	20. Confined

A nice long chapter. The song by Avril Lavigne in here is not mine, duh. And the song will show up again in later chapters.

* * *

_**Heart of Stone**_

_**Confined**_

A piercing noise cuts across my hollow conscious. The shrill sound shrieks again, more high pitch and closer this time, jolting me awake. With my eyes still closed, I sit up and massage my temples to help reduce the searing pain. Just as my eyes begin to open, the whistle is blown a third time, barely an inch away from my ear, the sharp noise nearly giving me a heart attack. But when I turn my head to see who is creating the noise, the sight of the fearsome teacher, a few inches from me sends my heart in my throat and me tumbling onto the floor.

"Don't fall asleep in my classroom!" she bellows, "Maybe that will teach you a lesson!" She grumbles as I stare wide eyed, my heart beating hard.

"She won't do it again, Miss," a voice chimes in. My eyes dart to the boy reaching for me. The husky teacher just grunts and walks out of the classroom. He leans down and gently pulls me to my feet. His expression looks a little annoyed as he grabs my stuff and takes my hand.

_You see right through me_

_Does it show?_

"Have a good nap?" he asks as he leads me out into the hallway. I feel a bit dizzy, but I still hear him. Real funny.

"Until I got a whistle in my ear," I whine, my free hand running over my sore ear. I hear him chuckle lightly, but I'm not really paying attention to where we are going. As I lower my hand, another shoulder roughly hits mine.

"Hey, watch where you are going!" Carl shouts over his shoulder at whoever knocked into me, obviously on purpose due to the bit of pain. I don't bother seeing who it is, I don't really want to know. He jerks around to say something else to the person who struck me, but I catch his eye and shake my head, not wanting any more trouble. The hit of anger on his face is strange. Usually anger is pointed at me, not for me. But as soon as it came, it is gone. Our gazes seem to be locked for a moment. My thoughts go empty and I am sure my face is blank. He smiles, that glint of some sort of feeling in his eyes again. He slowly looks away and we continue down the hall until he turns abruptly and hauls me into a room.

It's another one of those cheery rooms I really dislike. Most of the seats are filled and eyes follow us to the back row. In one of the last seats is a boy with short dark brown hair and a tan complection, talking to his hand. He's a tad eccentric to put it lightly.

"Hey, Sheen," Carl greets nonchalantly as he hands me my pack and watches me as I take my seat in front of his. What? Is he afraid I might fall out of my seat again?

"Sup, Carl!" the crazy Mexican, as I like to call him, replies. His voice scratches my eardrums, but I'm just glad he isn't singing. "Did Jimmy tell ya about going to the Candy Bar later?" he asks Carl and then points to me. "He said she could come." I don't think he has ever called me by my real name, of course with an attention span of a rodent, how can he remember anything?

"Her name is Rose," Carl declares, I guess noticing the irritated look on my face. "And I was there when we were making the plans, Sheen," he says, smirking a bit. I have to hold in a chuckle. You would think a genius would have smart friends.

Sheen's jaw hangs open a little as he itches his head. "Oh, yeah. Wait, what was the weird girl's name again?" Can you say stupid?

"She's not weird!" Carl quickly snaps, earning a few more eyes that weren't already looking at us funny. I bend my eyes to his irritated expression. He didn't have to say that, Sheen's right.

"Okay, man. Don't freak," Sheen says after a moment of silence. "So, is she coming or what?" Carl's previous expression fades with Sheen's question and he turns his attention to me.

"Did Jim ask you? Do you want-" Carl starts with his own questions, but I interrupt him with a nod. "Great!" he exclaims with a big grin. How can my presence be that gratifying? I'm really not sure, but I can feel his gaze on me as I turn around. Sheen whispers something to Carl, yet I don't catch it as the bell rings and the last of the students enter.

A tall lanky woman strides to the front of the room, her broad rimmed glasses sliding down her nose. "Good morning, class," she sings with a happy smile as her blonde hair falls around her face.

"What a woman," I hear Sheen whisper loudly behind me. Stupid hormonal boy. I roll my eyes and dig out another notebook. I pluck out a plain black pen also and hide my face behind my shield of paper. The lady at the front says something, but I don't really care.

Then, she sighs quite audibly, causing my eyes to stray up and catch her gaze. "Unless that is English work, please put that away," she asks me kindly, but I just ignore her as her words go in one ear and out the other. After a moment of a blank stare at her, my eyes fall back down onto the little scribble in my notebook and I raise it to shield me from their eyes. My head is beginning to ache again as I hear another sigh escape her. I close my eyes to help block the pain, but it doesn't work. She says something else, but I can only hear mumbles beneath the ache.

One of my hands rubs my forehead to calm the storm of hurt when I feel a soft hand on my shoulder. A sudden warm breath hits the back of my neck.

'_Keep holding on_

_Cause you know we'll make it through_'

He sings very quietly, hardly a whisper. He knows my favorite song. It's like he's in my head and he knows when I'm hurting. The anguish vanishes and I feel the corners of my lips turning up. This boy is definitely one of a kind.

Class goes on for who knows how long, I just know it's too long as the teacher drones on about something. I can feel myself start to nod off and my eyelids begin to fall without my control, but a sudden irritating voice rings out.

"Forty-two!" Sheen shrieks and laughter breaks out. My muscles clench for a moment until my brain registers that the fits of laughter aren't pointed at me. I turn my head to see the weirdo's huge dumb smile. What an idiot. And out of the corner of my eye I find an incredulous stare on Carl's face. The expression on Carl's face matches the dumbstruck look of the woman staring at Sheen.

"Um," she replies, sort of brain dead, then shakes her head and looks down at the book in her hands. "No, it's Shakespeare, Sheen," she explains when she turns her attention back to her dense pupil. She blinks a few times before placing a hand on her hip and looking at him like he's the strangest thing she has ever seen. "How did you get that answer? You, just...you cease to amaze me," she says and rubs her forehead as she turns around and returns to her desk.

"Cool, I amaze her!" he yells with a goofy grin. His outburst only creates more laughter, yet he lives off it. His excited brown eyes search the faces of laughing students while I close my eyes and create a world of darkness. I slink down in my seat and try to block out the snickers and girly giggles.

Eventually, the noise dies down and the teacher gives homework or something. Like I care. A few minutes or so pass and the bell rings, releasing us from this chamber only to be free to walk to another chamber with a different method of torture.

Sheen, not having a stable amount of patience, almost runs out of the classroom. "Cya in lunch!" he shouts over his shoulder as he heads out the door. And after the majority of the class has left, I pack up my things and rise from my seat only to find a hand and sickening smile. Most of the time I don't take his help because I don't need it, but I'm starting to think that he just wants to hold my hand because he cares. At least that's what I tell myself. And I can't really afford to dismiss any kind gestures, heaven knows he's one of the few who will look at me without a hint of dislike. It's weird though, he is the only one who can make me feel good about myself and forget about the hardships of my life.

_I believe that nothing is worth it_

_But you're different_

I take his hand and he leads me out of the room, into a hall of disarray. During the lunch periods, the hallways are crowded more than usual with heated glares. It is a good thing my hair is long or I wouldn't be able to hide from the eyes under a shadow of my own misfortune.

We stop at his locker and he quickly grabs a brown bag before continuing toward probably my most hated period. If I said I hated another period more, I was lying. Lunch is an assembly of all my antagonists. If it wasn't for the boy of my dreams and Carl, I would have gone completely insane by now.

So, sooner than what I would ever want, we arrive and trickle into the large, fully packed room and make our way to the table almost in the center of the room. The eyes are always on me, even if they aren't looking at me directly, I can still feel them. I really do hate them. And soon Carl drags me to the table he sits at and I am supposed to also sit at, but I never feel welcome.

The pretty chocolate girl I had spoken to earlier is already sitting. She gives us a smile, yet not the usual peppy one when she greets us. The memory of our contact returns, but it doesn't help my poor heart. Carl seats himself across from her but not directly and I sit to his right at the end of the table.

"Hi, Libby," he greets her and she responds with another dull smile. Carl pulls out sandwiches and some juice bottles out of the brown bag and places one of each in front of me. I know the food is there, but the noise around me sends my senses into a furry, my world going slightly blurry. I don't like the noises ringing around me. The chatter of voices, scuffles of shoes, movement of too many bodies, it all makes me unbearably nervous.

I don't know why, but his eyes fall on me. I can feel them even though I don't meet his gaze. My racing heart slows a bit as a comforting feeling flows to me. But the slender tranquility doesn't last long.

The hyper Mexican slides in beside Carl, across from Libby. Food rushes into his mouth and useless, yet slightly amusing facts about his favorite hero rush out. Libby just watches with a bored expression, but smiles when says something obviously gratifying to her. I'm not sure how she can put up with him, but it's obvious she loves him and he loves her with all is heart. The feeling in their eyes claws at my heart. If I had one wish, it would be to share my love with someone who returned my feelings...

* * *

**mysteryjcgrl**


	21. Inanimate

_**Heart of Stone**_

_**Inanimate**_

I admire one thing in life. The power of love. Someone told me once that love is just love, but I think love is life. That is why I am not completely alive.

My mind is filled with everything and nothing at the same time as I stare into space. But a sudden gold flash catches my eye and sends my heart into my toes. I told you how beautiful she was, didn't I? Cindy is undoubtedly the prettiest girl in school. She holds the hearts of many students and the envy of every breathing thing, not to mention the blue-eyed boy's ability to live. She is the luckiest girl in the world and she doesn't even know it.

"Hey, girl," she sings to Libby, flashing her lovely smile. "What's up?" She asks as she sits beside her best friend. They engross in a girly conversation, but I block out their voices as best I can and return my eyes to the food in front of me. My stomach is empty and groaning for food, but I just don't feel like swallowing anything. So, with nothing to occupy my attention, another rush of pain hits my head. I don't know why I have these migraines all the time, but I really want them to stop.

I tilt my head and massage the one side of my forehead to attempt to soothe the pain. When my eyes venture up, I meet the concerned expression of the boy next to me. He doesn't have to speak for me to know what he is asking. _'Are you okay?' _I nod in reply, but that doesn't seem to be enough for him. He gently curls his hand around my free one resting on the seat between us. I peer from under my bangs to see his smiling face, yet that's not all that greets me.

"What's wrong?" the blond across from me sneers, her tone cold and ruthless. "Does the poor thing have a headache?" she coos in mock concern. I can feel the color drain from my face and her smirk stab my nerves. I wish I could say she has no effect on me.

_Devil in disguise, please let me go_

_My soul is not worth the trouble _

I watch helplessly as she snickers in triumph at my frightened expression. Sheen joins in her laughter, but I'm sure he doesn't know what he's laughing at, yet it still bothers me immensely. Carl gives her his best nasty glare, but of course it doesn't affect her. And Libby, she is watching, a mixed expression of pity and sadness on her face. I tuck my eyes back under the shadow of my hair, but a certain someone catches my attention.

He sits directly across from me, placing his tray on the table. I look up to see his happy grin and sparkling blue eyes. My heart skips a beat when his gaze grabs mine for a split second, but he turns his attention to the girl next to him. She gives him a flirtatious smile. He replies with a soft kiss on her cheek and my heart plummets to the pit of my stomach.

"Hey, babe," she says so sensuously and he wraps his arm over her shoulders. I could swear she gives me a smug smile before she takes a sip of her drink. I just want to release the horrible feeling inside of me right now and run out, run away from everything. But a simple squeeze on my hand makes me rethink any prior thoughts. Yet nothing can halt the painful blows with each word flowing from the person across from me, holding the girl beside him close.

_It's hard to swallow when you are near_

_You pulled me in and I don't know how to get out_

I can't describe the amount of heartbreak rushing through me as I watch the loving couples. I can't begin to calculate how many hours I have sat here, tears threatening to fall. I have said it before and I will say it again. I can't take much more of this...

_What you have done to me is tearing me apart_

I hear their voices, and I see their happy faces even though I would rather not. They speak and I watch blankly as their lips move. I can barely feel any eyes on me and I feel a strange rush of ease. At least it's better than the attention I had a few minutes ago. But Carl doesn't even seem to remember that I am here and I can't explain the pang of despair. Now, I feel like a doll, forgotten and thrown in the corner.

Giggles, witty comments, and blinding smiles pass between them. At least most of them. I can't help but notice that Libby's smile seems somewhat forced. But why? She is encircled by people who love her. Libby's soft brown eyes capture mine for a moment. Sudden sorrow washes over her face and she turns her back to me, reaching for her bag at her feet.

All the eyes at the table are on her by the time she straightens herself upright again. I can't really tell if her hands are shaking slightly, but I know I am shaking when my eyes rest on the object in her hand. My pulse begins to quicken and I pray that the conversation I'm anticipating doesn't occur.

Confusion crosses their faces. "What is that, Libby?" Cindy asks and Jimmy nods in agreement, her beating him to the obvious question running through their heads. I gulp down the lump in my throat, already beginning to feel the sweat forming along my brow. Ignoring her friend's question, her gaze meets mine and she extends the object over the table, out toward me. My eyes are fixed on the object in her hand, but I can't miss the rising of Carl's eyebrow and his eyes finding my face.

"Rose," Carl utters my name questionably, but his voice creates no reaction as my eyes remain glued on the familiar notebook. His hand lands on my shoulder, gently grasping the fabric of my grey sweatshirt. Ever slowly, my eyes reach up and lock with Libby's. Everyone else seems to fall into a blurry mess as her eyes silently speak to the battered yet still solid heart inside me.

I don't know what is going on, but some kind of invisible drive forces me to reach out for it. All eyes are on me as my fingers grasp the notebook, hiding the sketch of a thousand inquiries. But for the first time in my life I can't feel their interrogating eyes, my senses blocked by a potent power...

* * *

**mysteryjcgrl**

**A/N:** I'm not sure when I'm gonna update. Hopefully soon, if anyone is reading. But I know the next chapter will be super long, so maybe a week or two.


	22. Feeble

_**Heart of Stone**_

_**Feeble**_

For once I wish I could feel something, anything. I wish I could feel their eyes, especially his. I wish I could feel the blood pumping through my veins. I wish I could feel the horrid pain surging through my head. But I'm drowning in a sea of numbness and the only thing I see is the shimmer of a golden brown.

Something is happening, but I don't know what. Time seems to stop. Reality halts.

'_You love him, don't you?' _a tender voice whispers to my thoughts. She sounds like an angel, freshly fallen from heaven. I can't feel my own breathing.

My mind doesn't know the _him_ the angelic voice is referring to, but my heart does and that fact frightens me. _'Yes,' _my soul replies. I can't feel the tears falling from my eyes.

'_Tell him, before it's too late...'_ the voice bids, growing fainter with each word. Something inside me reaches for the gentle voice, but retracts when it touches the ugly world.

The sea of chocolate fates away as reality comes crashing down like a wave, washing away the tranquility. The bleary world becomes clear in a sudden flash. Each and every ounce of feeling I missed moments ago, hits me like a freight train.

My nails dig deep into the soft material of the notebook as I jerk it from her grasp. In one rapid motion, I pin the object against my chest, my arms encircling it protectively. My aching eyes widen as much as they can, my gaze never faltering from the umber goddess. I have no idea what just happened, but now I wish I couldn't feel my dangerously racing heartbeat. The angelic words ring in my head as I exhale a shaky breath. To say I am confused would be an understatement. To say I am terrified would hardly describe the feeling of terror of what my heart has just spoken.

I'm desperately in love with someone and only my heart of stone knows exactly who.

The years of pain and anguish have created a solid wall around my heart, keeping out any hint of affection while the glass center breaks into a million pieces as I pine for another I cannot have. If I have already said it, I will say it again; life is cruel and I was dealt a cursed hand.

I stare unfocused as my muscles tremble in a mixture of feelings, beneath observing eyes. I can feel their eyes better than ever now as they drill into me. All of the eyes seem to bore into me, searching greedily for answers. All but one pair. A soft squeeze on my shoulder causes my eyes to dart upon a dark ash pair. They are gentle and speak an undeniable truth of an untouchable emotion. Timidly, the glass shards of my inner heart begin to restore themselves.

But a single word sung by a certain voice shatters everything. "Rose," Jimmy utters, his deadly blue gaze rekindling more pain. "What's going on? Are you okay? You don't look so great."

My aching eyes dart between my secret love and my best friend. I can feel the cold sweat trickling down the back of my neck. That's it, the thread of hope that was suspending me has been cut. I have to get out of here and I have to get out now. Without a second of hesitation, I bound from my seat and run as fast as my legs will carry me. I don't hear anyone or anything. The only things I see are the doors leading to my escape.

But I can image the scene now. The crazy chick freaking out and run out of the lunch room, leaping over any obstacles in her way. Her hair plastered to her blood red face and her breaths coming out in huge gasps. Her table mates staring in a mix of bafflement and shock. Carl springs from his seat and yells her name, but she doesn't hear him and he rushes after her. Once she is out the door, the entire room goes up in harsh whispers and laughter.

My stomach is in a tangle of knots as I rush down the hallway. I am going to the only sanctuary in this prison that I know of. The library.

When I reach my destination, I ignore the expression on the librarian's face and I ignore her comments as I scamper to the back of the large room. I find what I am looking for in a dark corner, surrounded by a mass of shelves full of books. I wipe my face with the back of my hand and settle down with my back against the wall. My notebook is still tightly pressed against my chest and I don't think it is going to be departing from me anytime soon.

_I'm being haunted by a whisper_

_A chill comes over me_

I wrap my arms around myself and shiver despite the raging heat billowing around me. The darkness engulfs me as I finally allow myself to give into a rack of sobs. Burning tears stream down my face. I bury my face in my arms, trying to escape this fate, but what good will that do. Reality hits and I realized what I have done. Yet it doesn't affect me and more tears spill as my body begins to tremble.

_Free me before I slip away_

_Heal me, wake me from this day_

_Can somebody help me_

I don't know how much time passes before I faintly hear footsteps echoing closer. My red eyes drift up to see someone I am afraid to look upon, yet the one person I was expecting to see. He stares down at me for a moment, his figure contrasted in the faint light and his eyes glassy. My trembles melt away. In one smooth motion, he steps closer and kneels beside me, my gaze never leaving his. His eyes wash over my face and I can feel my aching slowly dissipating. Gently, with no hesitation, his arms glide around me and he pulls me close. His scent encases my senses as I rest my face in the crook of his neck. I don't return the embrace, my arms securely keeping my notebook tight against my chest.

He doesn't have to whisper anything in my ear for me to understand what he is expressing. He cares and that is all that matters.

He holds me for a long time. My energy is drained and I can't move. My eyes fall shut and the soft angelic words whispered to me earlier echo in my head. _'Tell him before it's too late...'_

"Carl," I murmur, my throat burning. He leans back so he can look at my face, his lucid grey eyes leaking small tears. My heart shatters again knowing I did this to him.

"I need you," I mumble and inhale a shaky breath so I can continue, "to go back to class and cover for me. I can't face anyone right now." He doesn't seem to have heard me and my eyes search his for a moment. "Please."

After what seems like eternity, he nods and retracts his arms from around me. The sad gleam in his expression doesn't help anything as he reluctantly stands. I stare up at him like a lost puppy. Somehow, he smiles and I will never forget that smile. It speaks beyond any words and touches beyond any feeling. His smile has saved me once again.

_I've seen the face of my eviction, of my reality_

_I'm being tortured by the future_

Once he turns and fades away, my thoughts go on over drive. It feels like a war between heart and mind is being fought inside me. I clutch the cause of this pain closer to me, if at all possible. My eyes fall shut and my head surges in pain. Images appear behind my eyelids, this time they are images that I wish I could forget.

The dark blue background surrounding them seems to swallow them. Jimmy is holding someone tight in his arms, her face buried in his chest. Her blond hair flows gently behind her in an imaginary wind. His eyes are closed and a content smile adorns his face. A helpless figure lays motionless on the invisible ground near them. Her messy blond hair hides her face as he lays face down. A shiny object with a red point resides in her hand. Suddenly, a pool of crimson red begins to surround the figure...

My eyes pop open and the images disappear before anything else happens. My body begins to quake again. I wipe my sweaty palms on my jeans. Why did I see that? What kind of torture is this?

_I'm being haunted by a vision_

_It's like the moment never comes_

My pulse is off the charts, but I allow my eyelids to fall closed again.

The world is dark and rain falls hard from the sky. A flash of light reveals a shaking figure huddled in a ball. She is facing away, her muddy back, legs and her dirty blond hair only visible. Another figure suddenly appears. His back is also only visible as he kneels down beside her. Just as his hand rests on her side, a pool of red begins to leak around them. He retracts his hand quickly. He jerks his head around so it is visible, but his silver blue eyes glow so brightly they engross his entire face. Astonishingly, his eyes grow and engulf everything...

This time, a sudden shock runs through my veins as my eyes snap open. I can feel a scream burning in my throat, but it never escapes. I wish this torture would stop. I don't know how much more I can handle before I break down and do something drastic, something I could have gotten away with before if it were not for him.

_Now I'm not a hero, no_

_With the weight of the world on my soul_

As comforting sleep may be, I ward it away. But the strength to fight it is gone and I fall prey to an unwanted slumber. Images haunt me and the war wages on.

_These images burn in my eyes_

_They're burning me up inside_

-----

I don't know what time it is when I wake from the sound of a bell. My eyes crack open onto a hazy dark world. My body is sore and my forehead is coated in a salty grime. Weakly, I stand, my legs wobbling beneath me. I peer from under my bangs to make sure no one is nearby, ready to attack.

Everything seems quiet as I stagger from the corner and around a book shelf that was hiding me from view. I am greeted with the cheery face of the librarian, but her grin falls when my legs crumple and I collapse to the ground. I don't feel a thing as my head hits the hard floor. She rushes to my side and I turn my face away so she cannot see the blood trickling from my nose. But it seems I didn't hide the injury well when she gasps in surprise.

"Oh, my dear," she whispers as she strokes my damp hair. I clutch my notebook closer. The last thing I remember before darkness overcomes me is the lady calling to someone over her shoulder.

-----

When I wake again, I am met with blinding white lights and a cooling sensation on my forehead. I blink several times as my eyes adjust to the light. The first things I notice when I can see again are the white walls. An acidic smell fills my senses as I groggily push myself into a sitting position. It takes me a moment before I recognize my surroundings.

I'm on a bed in the health room. An ice pack is on my forehead. My bodily aches have perished. And my notebook is gone.

_Can somebody help me_

* * *

**mysteryjcgrl / jimlover54**

I like the song _Somebody Help Me _by Full Blown Rose, so decided to add some of it. I think it ties well with the story. Anyway, it's not mine. Please review even if it is bad!


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